Caterpillar Slang

Putting righteousness in its place

I have a quote on my bulletin board:

“You cannot speak butterfly language with caterpillar people.” - author unknown

I’m quite sure that I must have put it there on a day when I was feeling some frustration with someone who didn’t share my glorious vision for humanity ;).
As I contemplate those words today however, deeper insights emerge. I looked up caterpillar symbolism, and alongside all the usual references to patience and transformation, this appeared under the heading ‘Caterpillar Slang:’ “In slang, a Caterpillar might be referred to as a ‘crawler’ or a ‘muncher’. These terms highlight the Caterpillar’s earth-bound existence and its appetite for leaves. However, behind this humble image lies the promise of transformation, reinforcing the Caterpillar’s symbolism of growth and change.”

Caterpillars are on my mind because monarch butterflies are once again drifting through my yard every day, and I am suddenly finding all my milkweed plants covered in crawling, leaf-munching monarch caterpillars. I will share my photos of these beautiful creatures later in this post!

The quote I opened with, “You cannot speak butterfly language with caterpillar people,” seems to project something negative (as in, “a crawler or a muncher”) onto the idea of people we view as behaving ‘like caterpillars.’ Have you ever judged yourself harshly for not ‘getting it,’ or not seeing things ‘the right way’ sooner? For learning or evolving ‘too slowly,’ for being greedy, self-centered, fearful, or ‘too self-protective,’ or for procrastinating, hibernating or cocooning for ‘too long?’ I know I have judged myself for these things! And the thing is, where we judge ourselves harshly, we readily project these judgments onto other people we encounter, without realizing what we are doing.

If we keep in mind that all butterflies were once caterpillars, we might remember that all stages of the journey are necessary, for ourself as well as for our fellow humans. With the caterpillar-to-butterfly transformation as a metaphor for the conscious human journey, perhaps there is wisdom here that might inform us in the places where we feel easily triggered by another person’s words, beliefs, values or behavior.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how to approach the many topics of conversation that have recently become more sensitized than ever in our politically charged and divisive current culture. I find this to be an especially complex area to articulate with confidence, and I am only going to just begin the conversation today.

I pulled this perfect quote from a podcast I heard this afternoon:

“The quality of our life ends up being the quality of our communication with ourself.”
- Jon Zieve

I have definitely become aware that the kinder, more forgiving and more patient I am with myself, the kinder, more forgiving and more patient I am with other people. It stands to reason then, that the better I can love myself, the more respectful and honoring my conversations with others become. The more I can honestly listen to myself, the more present I am to be able to listen to others. So the true work of bridging the divide in our society - which I feel passionate about - begins deep inside of each individual. The deep journey to a felt connection with Self and Source, and trust in the wisdom to be found there, is an inside job first and foremost, and one that each of us must do independently. It’s not a journey I can ask someone to embark upon — one has to feel themselves pulled by a strong inner calling.

And here is my conundrum: how best to navigate the harder conversations with people who have not yet felt this inner calling - people who ultimately put their trust in external sources of authority because they feel safer that way? Or, what about people who have felt and answered the deeper calling to brave the journey to their own higher wisdom, their own inner authority, but have discovered there a very different view of life than I have?

Some Native American wisdom that was passed along to me by a spiritual mentor in Michigan is this:
1. Show up
2. Be fully present
3. Speak your truth
4. Let go of the outcome

It’s important, too, to consider HOW we speak our truth, and how we honor the other person, with their truth.

When facts matter (not just ‘my truth/your truth,’ or anyone’s opinions), it feels tricker to me. Perhaps one of the most crazy-feeling experiences we’ve all had recently is that people have different ‘facts’ about the same questions! In most cases, both sets of facts cannot simultaneously be true, but when people are protecting their tribal alliance, they often will not be able to genuinely consider conflicting facts. This is especially true when a person places their personal security in external authority, because they have not cultivated trust in their own inner wisdom to discern truth amongst conflicting or confusing information. The ground can seem to be pulled out from under them if the external authorities they have endowed with their trust are shown to be wrong, or corrupted. It is so important for each of us as individuals to develop confidence in our own ability, from within (and the beyond), to discern right from wrong, and fact from fiction.

Through direct experience - often painful! - I have realized that my higher intention is not to convince anyone of my way of seeing, or of any particular perspective or set of facts. Rather, my deeper heart’s desire is to master the art of fostering a spirit of true respect and human connection, in the face of passionate disagreement. I see now that it’s the process I wish to master, not the outcome.

There is a parable in the Bible, about the sowers of seeds. Each of us is both the farmer, and the one who hears (or doesn’t hear):

“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

This reminds me of another quote I have on my bulletin board:

“A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.” - Joan Anglund

And this one:

“It’s great to be a seeker, but sooner or later you have to be a finder, and then it is well to give what you have found, a gift unto the world for whoever will accept it.” - Richard Bach, ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’

It will be a beautiful day indeed, when each of us can give our fellow humans whom we judge and disagree with some grace, and some space, and even if a person’s position or facts do not appear worthy, to remember that the person IS worthy. What if we could all release our attachment to the outcome, and focus wholeheartedly on mastering the art of loving ourselves and therefore loving the reflection of ourselves in each other. We might even realize our common ground! We can choose like-minded people with shared values to invite into our sacred, innermost circle of intimate relationships and confidantes, but let’s not deepen the present-day divide by disconnecting from those we appear on the surface to disagree with.