Is it Time to Change Gears?

How will you know?

The previous owners of my new home created lots of caterpillar and butterfly habitat around the property, and I have been blessed to witness many transformations already. The other day, I watched a large monarch caterpillar leave its eating-leaf, crawl up to to where it could attach its front end with some self-produced ‘glue,’ and with its body hanging down in a “J” shape, begin to gyrate and spin a cocoon. And I wondered, how did the caterpillar know when it was time to stop eating leaves - forever - and start spinning a cocoon? And how did it then know when was the moment to safely emerge from the cocoon? Many hours passed again before it somehow knew when it was time to begin to spread its folded wings, and then again when to launch its first-ever flight, and when and how, on its own, to find an entirely new food source, in flowers instead of leaves.

The lobster sheds its shell several times in its lifespan, when its soft inner body grows too tight inside the outer shell. So the lobster responds to a buildup of pressure, as the inner body expands, which then signals its shell to start cracking. Somehow the lobster is aware of its new vulnerability, so it retreats to a safe place until the new shell grows over to protect it once again. The snake might have a similar experience around shedding its skin, though it appears to form a new skin before discarding the old one.

We might chalk these miracles of nature up to animal instinct, or biological mechanics…but even so, what drives these phenomena? And how can we listen for our innate human instincts, and respond productively to the biological mechanics in our own bodies? Like the caterpillar’s transformation, we too experience many transformations in a lifetime. As humans, we have more choice, and thus more responsibility, and a great deal more complexity surrounding our decisions and experiences around change.

I am curious about what drives our transformations, and what determines the quality of our experience? Sometimes we make a deliberate choice to change our circumstances, and other times the changes we must respond to are beyond our control. Perhaps most of the time, it’s a combination of these. Whatever the situation, we make a series of choices about how we will move forward, and when or whether to expand or contract.

Often we resist change. I think this is more of a conditioned response than a natural one. We live in a fearful society, and we all feel the invitation to be afraid. To choose a consciously inspired life in today’s environment requires a certain kind of courage, inner strength, and commitment. Speaking now from personal experience, I can explore the moment that I summoned the courage to listen to my knowing that a partnership had come to the end of its season, or when I knew that the time had come for me to move to Florida after 50+ years in Michigan; when I would choose new homes (and which ones!); when I knew that I would homeschool my child; how I knew right from the start that I would not take the covid shots; or the moment when I chose to buck the medical establishment and go out on a limb with a raw vegan lifestyle. All of these choices came to fruition when I felt a very strong inner calling which presented as a tension in my body, and a state of excitement or deeply felt inspiration, and the knowing of a commitment to my inner desires, needs, or morality that was more powerful than any outer messages or expectations. When this inner resolve is fully felt and heeded, it has been my experience that a positive state of flow usually follows, and is supported.

There is truth to the lyric from a Kenny Rogers song: “You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em; Know when to walk away, know when to run.” But how do we KNOW?

I remember learning to drive a stick-shift car in my teen years, and tuning into the vibrational pitch of the motor to let it tell me exactly when it was the best time to move the handle into the next gear, while perfectly choreographing the pressure and release of the clutch under my foot. It was a clumsy, jerky transition at first, but with practice came a satisfying smooth seamlessness, as I felt the vibrational tone intensify just enough to signal a new need, and then relax again when I responded correctly.

In a similar way, there is a vibrational tone in our body, and also in our mind and spirit, that frequently changes in intensity. There are the many micro daily tensions that rise and fall constantly (hunger, thirst, a body-ache, mental stress, emotions, tiredness, etc.), and then of course there are tensions on a macro level that indicate the need for deeper attention to our health, to a brewing or immediate crisis, to our life-course, or to a new level of spiritual awakening. All of these bodily, mental, emotional or spiritual tensions, or vibrational escalations, can be uncomfortable (or even almost unbearable), but some can be pleasurable, too.

Learning to listen inwardly more deeply, to feel the signals and to respond exquisitely, is a life-long practice. It is a practice which requires courage, intention, perseverance, agility, self-grounding and self-love. It’s an adventure in consciousness! The things I have bumped into that can impede this ‘tune-in and respond’ cycle, are: fear (of the intensity of the vibration, or of the required action), apathy or lack of vibrance or inspiration to work with, self-loathing, insecurity (needing to look to others for confirmation), or too much effort-ing (often in the wrong direction).

To facilitate this reconnection with our inner knowing, the first step is usually to slow down, and allow ourselves to feel what is true. At first we may be full of doubt, and second-guessing ourselves. I discovered yoga when I was 19, and it greatly helped me tune into the sensations moving through me. I like to put an emphasis on the necessity of spending time quietly in nature, ideally daily, because that allows us to experience the space in which we can begin to feel what is true. Protected from the distractions of technology, worldly responsibilities, human commotion, and other people’s opinions, in the natural world we can begin to tune into our own vibrational tone. Once we remember how to do this, we can begin to reconnect with our intuitive wisdom, and the strength to heed it will naturally follow.

Sometimes we may hear the call of something that needs our attention, or something that is letting us know it is ready for change. Other times, many things may come into our awareness seemingly at once, and we can fine-tune our listening to hear what feels most important NOW, and what needs to wait for its more appropriate timing. When several things still compete for our attention, it can be helpful to feel into where the inspired energy truly wants to flow. There is healthy power in our inspired state, as opposed to using force to do something that is not in the flow of our present energy or frequency.

My recent experience with many big changes and responsibilities occurring pretty much simultaneously in my life, has required some intensive inner listening! I have been able to reduce the inner vibrational pressure, and lessen my overall stress during this extra-ordinary time, by engaging some very thoughtful prioritization, and by mindfully keeping myself present as much as I can with the task I have chosen to prioritize in the moment (rather than live in the friction of mental and emotional spinning-out from trying to take on or keep tabs on everything at once).

I like this refrain taken from biblical text, and popularized into a song by Pete Seeger:

“To every thing,
turn, turn, turn, turn.
There is a season,
turn, turn, turn, turn.
And a time to every purpose
under heaven.”

When we are really, truly listening, we know when (and what) to eat, and when to fast, when and how to move our bodies, and when to rest or sleep. We intuitively know when to speak and when to remain silent, when to act and when to hold back, how to care for and how to speak to ourselves, our children, and others in our lives, and when and how to share our knowledge, our creativity, and our discoveries.

When we feel a buildup of tension and friction, we know that something needs to shift and change. We can learn the difference between tension that is letting us know we need a course-correction, and healthy stress that necessarily comes with the territory of personal growth and commitment. We can choose to look at our results objectively, and when they are not what we desire, we can choose to be open to making a wiser choice in the next moment. When we find ourselves unable to make a clear decision, we likely simply need either more information, or more stillness.

We can practice discerning when it’s time to ask for help or support, and when we need to learn to do for ourselves. We can know when to hold on, and when to let go. Ultimately, as I just witnessed in my late father’s journey, we sense when to fight for life, and when to surrender to death. Gears are constantly shifting on our journeys, and life feels best when we stop resisting, and instead learn to tune-in consciously, and build a trusting, loving relationship with our powerful, innate inner guidance system.

NOTE: Next week I will be teaching, connecting, and playing at The Woodstock Fruit Festival in Miami. I will do my best to do some writing, too, and find some internet, but please forgive me if I am unable to pull it off!