Kids and Food

How I Get My Kids to Make (Mostly) Healthy Choices

This article is a reprint (while I’m traveling this summer), from years ago when my children were young and living at home with me. I’ve included a more current photo of them :).

Perhaps the most important thing for a parent to admit is that kids are much more likely to DO WHAT YOU DO, than what you say.  Our children are watching us, and learning all the time.  There is no escaping this fact!  I once gave a presentation to a group that called themselves "Healthy Kids, Healthy Parents".  I suggested they change the name of their group to "Healthy Parents, Healthy Kids".  Even if your kids don't always copy every healthy thing you do for yourself (because they are also influenced by their peers, and by the media, and by the state of being a kid), they are learning most deeply from you, their parent, and will be likely to incorporate your healthy modeling at some point in their lives.

Perhaps the next most important lesson for parents, after modeling what you'd like to see your kids do, is to LET GO OF THINKING YOU CAN OR SHOULD CONTROL
your kids.  Kids are people too, with the right to make most of their own decisions about their bodies.  This is not to say that they should determine entirely what kinds of food fill the kitchen shelves, or be allowed to buy candy whenever they want.  But it is important to treat children with the same respect you'd like for yourself.  This includes taking the time to help them understand the decisions you feel you must make for their well-being, and to empower them to make many of their own choices (however seemingly imperfect) within the healthy framework you create.

I have lots of discussions with my kids about what is healthy, and what is not, and I find frequent opportunities to point out the benefits of choosing health.  My kids often point out to me, with growing amazement, the unhealthy things they see people do.  They love to intelligently pick apart and dismantle many of the misleading and untruthful media and societal messages they see and hear.  My kids can appreciate having a body/mind/spirit that can do all kinds of cool things for them - when it is strong and healthy.  They want that for themselves. 

I try my best to keep us all focused on what we really WANT, and avoid dwelling on negative thinking about what we don't want.  Understanding what causes health, and why it's important to eat and live naturally, empowers kids to handle the misinformation, disinformation, and challenging social situations they inevitably encounter in today's world.  I have found that it's important to let kids know that you believe it's a sign of strength of character when a person dares to be different in the
pursuit of truth.

I have often stumbled with my own kids, and discovered that they need frequent reassurance that I love and accept and enjoy them whatever their choices; that I understand and accept their shortcomings and don't judge them for these.
My kids need to believe that I understand the challenges they face in growing up healthy today, and they need to know that I trust that they are doing their best.  On the other hand, they also need me to stand firm for my beliefs, and to hold them to high standards for themselves and their health.

My kids have sometimes accused me of preaching health to them, and it's been hard for me to admit when they are right about this!  It is painful for me to watch them do things that I believe are harmful to their health, and I must admit that many times I have tried to control them by literally pleading with them to choose a different course, and giving them a list of reasons why they should do so (including threats of what may naturally happen to their bodies if they don't!).  This almost always backfires - when I behave like this my children find me oppressive and annoying, and definitely not inspiring!

"Inspire" has truly become my guiding principle in raising healthy children.  Here is a Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of inspire:

INSPIRE:  to influence, move, or guide by divine or supernatural inspiration;  to exert an animating, enlivening, or exalting influence on; to spur on : IMPEL MOTIVATE ; to draw forth or bring out.

Truly, we cannot change or improve another person except by inspiring them to change or improve themselves.

My kids today - all grown up and doing great!

I am guided by an honest desire to inspire my children toward health, and also to empower them to see the truth and stand up for it, making healthy choices to live and eat naturally, even (and especially!) in today’s unnatural world. Through trial and error, and a relentless commitment to health, I have developed a substantial repertoire of actions and attitudes for effectively raising health-motivated children:

• Model, model, model - you don't have to be perfect, but it's important for your kids to see you trying your best to put into practice what you have learned, and to see you enjoying the process and the healthy results!

• Educate - be careful here!  Keep it fun, short, positive, and related to the present moment.

• Learn together about how the body works - books, pictures, models, exhibits, videos- be fascinated and curious together.

• Learn together about what happens to different foods when they enter (and exit!) the body.

• Cultivate an appreciation of the magnificence of the human body, and its infinite wisdom!

• Notice together that one of the most important things in the world to learn is how to take care of your body so that you have the health and energy to learn and do all the other stuff out there.

• Learn from animals who are free in the wild - watch them together.

• Teach children to trust the body's intelligence.  Respect symptoms, it is the body cleaning house.  If a child becomes ill, support their natural inclination to mostly fast and rest until health returns.

• Be active together - get outdoors together, go to parks, make up games that get you all moving and laughing together, enjoying being fit (don't sit on the park bench while your kids do all the moving!).  Learn to earn your meals together by moving your bodies before eating.  Invent yoga poses, kids love this!  Get a family trampoline and get bouncing together.

• Master the art of picnicking.  It's much more fun than a restaurant when coupled with movement in the beautiful outdoors.  Backpacks and bike panniers make carrying the food easy while being active.

• Spend time with other people and families who are choosing health; create healthy parties.

• Prepare healthy food together every day - let kids learn to use fun equipment like a blender and food processor and specialty knives, peelers, slicers, etc. Go to a good kitchen store and get some nifty implements.

• Let kids make some juices - celery/apple is a favorite!

• Make artful food presentations - this gets really fun! Find a book on making garnishes and learn with your kids how to make exquisite creations with fresh raw foods that will impress your family and guests!  Grow edible flowers to use as special garnishes.

• Make a family ritual of preparing the table with fresh flowers or candles, and expressing thanks before each shared meal.

• Teach kids to eat when they are hungry, and make family meals more about communion with each other.

• Be willing to pay for the best fruit, and to buy some exotic fruits & veggies to try - make a game out of guessing what the insides will look or taste like.

• Develop a reverence for Nature's creations!  Draw and paint the fruits, grow food in your yard, read and research about the hundreds of different varieties around the world.

• Have fruit feasts together - if you find some great organic peaches at a good price, buy LOTS of them and sit down outside in the sunshine with your kids and a huge bowl of peaches, and feast together!

• Fruit First Rule - encourage kids to eat as much fruit as they want before every meal that contains other foods.  For good food combining and best digestion, eat in courses, with all raw foods preceding any cooked foods.

• Decide what foods you are comfortable with for your children, and fill the house with these.  Don't bring into your home anything you cannot be comfortable with. Model and teach healthy eating habits, and then have the courage to let your kids control their own meals.

• buy some packaged raw foods like crackers, cookies, bars, etc - they're not the best foods, but for modern kids they can make a nice replacement for typical packaged goodies.

• Travel to tropical places to see and try all the wonderful healthy fruits!

• Appeal to kids' common sense and intuition - point them toward the truths and let them discover.

• Focus on healthy living, not just healthy food - focus on the FUN & ADVENTURE of healthy living.

• Break out of the mold - dare to be different together, try new activities that don't revolve around restaurants and traditional social foods.

• Talk about the benefits of healthy diet - few or no pimples, ideal body weight, no offensive body odors, feeling great, best athletic performance, no allergies, no
  medicines, avoid disease . . . .

• Believe in your children's visions and dreams, and actively nurture them!  Help children focus attention on what they desire.

• Start "Grateful Journals" and write down what you're each grateful for - this makes a great bedtime ritual.

This is some of the wisdom I've gleaned in 16 tumultuous years of mothering and homeschooling, on inspiring kids to choose health in an unhealthy world.  I hope I have inspired you and your children to discover many more ideas of your own. 

In my experience, the real keys to effectiveness with kids (or anyone, for that matter!) are:  inspire (not coerce), model, educate, be sincere, be curious: question everything
and seek the truth together (though the heavens may fall!), create a healthy home environment and then respect kids' need to make their own choices, shoot for the best and accept imperfection, support each person's dreams, focus on love and understanding, and always keep a spirit of fun.

Truly, creating health does become fun when it is undertaken together with your children as a fascinating, awe-inspiring, empowering family adventure that is about so much more than food!