Letting Go of the Shore

How do you feel about the open water?

As some of you know, I am in the process of selling the home I currently inhabit - my sweet, beloved, first Florida home that I have poured my love into for 3 years. I spruced it up even more, to put it on the market, and then I awoke with an ‘aha’ epiphany thought - I must fully LET GO of this property that I love…I have to fully RELEASE it so its next inhabitants can be magnetized to it. I had been holding on, feeling my attachment, feeling my grief in the form of reluctance to leave this spot that has nourished me so deeply.

Even though I am so grateful to have already found my next beautiful Florida home, and I am feeling my way toward it every single day knowing it will soon become my place of nourishment, I had not fully released the one I still live in. I got focused on this, and within a few days of my conscious, energetic release of this home, the perfect new buyers appeared! It truly felt like a magical response from the Universe, once I did my part in getting clear and letting go. I also found my new home quickly, once I was very clear that I needed to move right away. I am in awe of the evidence of cause and effect in my current transition: when my energetic frequency is tuned to a clear setting, the Universe can respond quickly.

This prompted me to write more about the journey-space of transitions in life, one of my favorite topics. Every one of us navigates a whole series of micro-transitions every single day, and a whole series of macro-transitions throughout our life-time. It is absolutely a requirement, for any successful life, that we learn to navigate transitions well. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the importance of this, and I’d like to share my thoughts, from my own experience as well as my intimate witnessing of my clients’ journeys, about what transitions ask of us.

I’ll start with the idea of examining our general beliefs about transition. What do you believe about the significance of the daily micro-transitions, and how do you treat them? In what way do you notice, or honor, the rising and setting of the sun each day? The moments just before sleep and just after waking? How about the starting and ending of your work times? Your meals? What rhythms and rituals outline the flow of your everyday activities? What kind of presence and intention do you bring to the flow of your days? How much does this matter to you? I am not advocating for any self-judgment, or any right or righteous answers, but simply encouraging awareness, and perhaps some self-inquiry.

What beliefs do you carry about the bigger transitions in life? Do you approach them with dread and negative drama, or inspiration and a rallying of courage? Does the idea of ‘letting go of the shore’ (your comfort zone, or familiar territory) fill you with terror and dread, or inspiration, curiosity and excitement - or perhaps some of each?! These are important queries, because how you look at or perceive something has an enormous impact on how you experience it. Does the idea of ‘setting off onto the open water’ (leaving the familiar shore behind) cause you to imagine a limitless ocean of possibility, or dangerous exposure to an overwhelming sea full of deadly threats?!

Do you feel in charge of your experiences, or a helpless victim of them? Do you believe things happen for you, or to you? Do you welcome a challenge for the personal growth you know it can bring, or do you tend to resist challenges because you think they will drain you of your life-force? These are important questions to ponder, if you are interested in taking responsibility for the direction and outcomes of your life.

Here are some words from a couple of my mentoring clients, about what transition times ask of us:

“I need to tell you that I had a really strong visual after our last coaching session – I was in a boat all by myself steering the rudder. There were all kinds of rocks and some stormy weather to my sides but I knew that if I could stay the course and navigate my way around all of that it would be calm, peaceful and beautiful water ahead of me. I feel like that’s what your guidance is allowing me to do.” - Amy Brainard

“With Ellen’s help, I have learned what it means to feel alive…Ellen helped me to see that I was the only one limiting myself on this journey. She helped me to see what I want, and what I care about most, and she helped me implement the necessary changes.

I came to Ellen knowing I needed someone to guide me. It started as simply needing some advice on food, and turned into the most wonderful, magical, loving coaching/student relationship I could ever have dreamed of. I always look forward to our sessions, and I love how she listens to my crazy stories, gives me another perspective I would never have thought about, and laughs and smiles at me with her soul.

Ellen always tells me never to say never, but I know I could never be where I am right now if it weren’t for our coaching sessions. If you’re willing to put in the work, willing to find some scary stuff and be ok with it, then call Ellen and let her help you wake up and make a real change in your life.” - Lauren Mack

I have a friend and colleague who emphasizes the importance of bringing awareness and attention to the many endings in our life, even the micro daily ones. Without conscious endings, she asserts, there can be no energetic clarity. I imagine it a bit like cleaning up our clothes, dishes, tools, papers, etc., and putting things away as we move through our day, rather than letting it all pile up for later.

Sometimes we have messy experiences, such as might happen in a relationship, or with a challenging project, and we may not be able to make amends or find resolution immediately - but we can always choose to insert a conscious energetic ending of the immediate experience (“I end the experience of this conversation,” for example), and free up uncluttered energy to move forward with.

Another navigation tool is to hone our skill in readily shifting into a peaceful, relaxed energetic state of “open focus,” in which we are very present to an awareness of our surroundings and our body sensations, and even our train of thoughts or stream of emotion, but without engagement or attachment (“narrow focus”) to any of it.

It’s essentially the difference between the idea of closing one door so another will open, or being aware of many doors open at once, yet without experiencing any mental or energetic distress about that level of opportunity and choice.

For me, the real secret to navigating transitions with grace is to dwell in GRATITUDE for what is, and for whatever situation I have at the moment, while having FAITH in the benevolent forces of the Universe that are guiding my journey for the highest good. No one promised it would always be easy! Daily journaling and quiet meditative nature-walks help me to cultivate this gratitude and faith. And when I feel stressed, it is time to examine my response and find out what belief or thought is pulling me off-center. With a willingness to SEE this, comes the power to SHIFT it.

Transitions, micro and macro, are a necessary part of every human life. Without them we would not feel alive. The best way through them is to embrace the opportunities in them, get curious, and get inspired about the potential for personal and spiritual growth that transitions, even (or especially!) the bigger ones, make available for you.