Meeting 2026 Truthfully
Layer by layer....
Here we go! A new year, full of new hopes and dreams and possibilities. We all know the dismal success rate of the typical personal New Year’s Resolutions…but there is something more effective we can put into motion to bring about the changes we want in our own lives. We know that if we don’t meet what has been chronically not working in our lives with a new outlook and a new energy, these things are not likely to change much in the new year. So what can we do?
I will tell you what I am doing, with a commitment to meeting the new year as truthfully as I can. I am taking an honest inventory of any and all places where I am not feeling the ease of full alignment and personal empowerment. I am unwinding betrayal - looking directly at where I may be tempted to feel betrayed by certain of life’s challenges, or by other people, and recognizing with radical honesty - and finally deep gratitude! - how these experiences point me to where I have been willing to betray myself. Self-betrayal is often subtle, and hidden from our view, because it appears obvious and justified to blame our circumstances or other people’s behavior for our pain.
New Year’s Resolutions are like starry-eyed delusions, if we are not prepared to meet them with 100% personal responsibility for re-training ourselves from the inside out. We can muster the will-power to allow only the best parts of ourselves to the table - for our new diet, new exercise plan, or other shiny new intentions - but only for so long (a few weeks?). Soon, the inconvenient parts of us that we have shoved aside, consciously or often unconsciously, are having tantrums and screaming for our attention….and our well-intentioned resolutions are crowded out by our familiar, comfortably uncomfortable default patterns. Now we experience a double self-betrayal! First we denied (rather than transformed) parts of ourselves that didn’t consent to our brave new intentions, and then we failed to keep our New Year’s Resolutions. Double-whammy. Every time we break an agreement we made with ourself, we lose a degree of self-respect.
I have cracked the code on that kind of defeating self-sabotage! I don’t always get it right immediately, but I do know what I need to do and I choose to pick myself up and do it, whether I feel like it or not. I hope that I can inspire you to do the same, if you ever suffer from the self-betrayal double-whammy effect. The key to true self-confidence and real strength (see my previous post: “Existential Confidence”), is to stop rejecting the uncomfortable, ‘unacceptable,’ or immature parts of yourself. The most painful emotions that most of us deem unacceptable usually accompany these rejected parts of ourselves - which is exactly why we reject them in the first place! Who delights in digging up intense feelings of long-buried rage or hatred toward our loved ones, or ourselves? Who chomps at the bit to uncover the burden of old unmet grief? It’s not fun….but I promise you, the rewards are priceless and will positively change and empower you forever.
With your whole self held in your conscious awareness, you can approach the things you want in life with a steady honesty that defies your old way of operating from outworn beliefs and with only your allowable, approvable parts visible to you. Layer by layer, as long-buried emotional intensity and discarded parts are met with real, radical honesty and compassion, the unseen inner conflict begins to dissolve, and with it the chronic self-division and tension that inevitably led to self-sabotage, discouragement, and energetic exhaustion in the past.
The more I learn, the more I am awed by the incredibly powerful role of the mind in ALL of our physical and emotional discomforts in life. Fortunately for us, our brains are designed with apparently limitless bio-plasticity - that is, we have the innate capacity to alter our brains in ways that literally blow the mind, and can change the whole course of our life. Sometimes, with the right knowledge, this transformation happens in the flash of insight, but most often it requires intention, presence, and consistent practice.
Identity is not fixed, it is a pattern. Transformation is repetition of the patterns and beliefs aligned with where you want to go, who you want to be.
Identity is the most practiced version of yourself.
- Joe Dispenza
I have long been fascinated by the study of what are known as mind-body pain syndromes and illness. This winter I’ve been reading more about the ever-expanding, fascinating field of neuroscience. It is at once daunting in its complexity, and thrilling in its expansion of possibility. I have read hundreds of testimonials from people who were even bed-bound or wheelchair-bound for years with pain or illness that medical approaches could not cure, and once they sincerely believed and persistently applied the right information and BELIEF, they brought about an actual change in their brains simultaneous with the disappearance of all of their debilitating symptoms, no matter how dire, hopeless or permanent they had appeared. There is even a body of research that compares brain MRI’s before and after recovery from chronic pain or illness. There are dramatic changes visible on the films.
My readers know I believe in the power of natural diet and lifestyle habits to bring about dramatic positive changes. In most cases, when practiced with right knowledge and consistent commitment, this will eventually cure lingering pain and dis-ease symptoms, including most mental illness. It is uncommon, however, that people commit with consistency to the level of natural diet and lifestyle that can fully uncover the blueprint for vibrant health of our biological design. Also, the importance of an empowered mindset, emotional poise and nervous system regulation needed (in addition to right food and other lifestyle habits) is usually underestimated.
Our language matters SO much! It starts with what we say to ourselves, and about ourselves and our life, internally. And then with every sentence we give voice to, we speak our future into existence. When we attach emotion to our words, we are telling our nervous system how to feel. Are we giving our nervous system a message of danger, or safety? Of defeat, or possibility? Of being stuck, or pulled forward by a compelling vision? Of victimhood, or empowerment? Of urgency, or ease? Your mindset has to be TRAINED to stay elevated and helpful to your well-being. This does not mean ignoring your pain or faking positivity - but it does mean purposefully choosing to feel empowered and responsible for the quality of your thoughts, your beliefs, and you vibration, no matter what the external circumstances might be at the time.
Why strengthen a version of yourself you are trying to outgrow?
Decide who is really in charge - the storm, or the one walking through it?
Stand in your challenges like someone who is being built, not broken.
You will ever only rise to the level of what you believe is possible for you.
-Joe Dispenza
At the end of this post, I have shared a couple of amazing books I’ve been reading this winter. This knowledge will expand you! For many people, the information is enough to empower them to act in new ways and bring about the breakthrough they’ve been waiting for. If you know you benefit from a human-to-human coaching relationship, I want you to know that I am available (my coaching is all by donation now) to help you:
-identify your outworn beliefs
-reconcile with your rejected parts
-clearly articulate your new vision
-speak like someone who understands that you are programming your reality
-create, practice, and rewire a brand new pattern, and a more powerful you!
Don’t wait for your circumstances to change - that’s not the way real transformation works. Remember, “wherever you go, there YOU are!” You can choose to bring a more confident version of you into 2026, and watch what feels hard at first quickly begin to feel natural with practice.
RESOURCES
The Way Out: A Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven Approach to Healing Chronic Pain, by Alan Gordon
Mind Your Body: A Revolutionary Program to Release Chronic Pain and Anxiety, by Nicole J. Sachs



Ellen, this is entirely resonant with my approach to life. Picking myself up, again and again, when I lose track of being 100% responsible for the quality of my life (in being in charge of my response to life circumstances, how other people act, etc) is the central saving grace