Parallel Realities

Where are you going?

First of all, please forgive my very loose use of this concept. I am not using it in any scientifically defined way, but rather in a more psychological context to offer a perspective on our day-to-day personal decision-making process.

I’ll paint a broad picture by sharing a dream I had last night. In the dream, I was joyfully running barefoot through a field of soft grass. I was with a specific close friend, and she was cautioning me but I was confident that the grass was safe for my bare feet, so I was running along in a carefree way. I stopped abruptly, however, when I arrived at the top edge of a huge sand dune. I was surprised to see a sheer cliff of sand, seemingly more than a hundred feet high and with barely any slope to it - just straight down. I called to my friend that this was the wrong side of the sand dune, too steep to go down. While we were safely looking over the edge, my little sister suddenly appeared, running up from behind us and we shouted to her, “Stop! It’s too steep here!” but she ran right over the edge, quickly lost contact with the sand, and was plunged into free-fall. I watched in horror as her body plummeted through space, her arms and legs out away from her body as if trying to control her fall. Surely it was unsurvivable, my mind said. A clump of bushes at the bottom somewhat broke her fall, as she crash-landed front-side down into them. She got up quickly, clearly very shaken and in a daze. I urged my friend, “Quick! We need to find the safer way down and go check on her!” As I realized the miracle of my sister’s survival, I woke up.

When my awake self looks back at my dreams, one interesting way to look at the different characters in a dream is to see them as different aspects of myself. In the example above, one aspect of me was too cautious in the safe grass (my friend’s voice), while another aspect of me was free and joyous because it knew I was safe in the grass - that aspect stopped when I sensed grave danger, and made a conscious decision to find a safer way down the dune. Another aspect of me was too compelled by the joy I felt running across the grassy field to detect the seriousness of the danger that appeared. Yet another aspect of me managed to survive the fall.

To add even another dimension, I called my sister today just to catch up on life, and when I shared this dream with her (after all, she was in it), she shared that earlier this week she had her own dream in which she was free-falling just like that, only backwards, and landed with a hard thump on the ground but miraculously recovered, bruised but alive. Energetically connected? Who knows, but a cool ‘wink from the Universe,’ just the same.

My title, Parallel Realities, comes from an idea I heard one day long ago, that each time we are faced with a dilemma or a choice, there is a splitting off in ourself. Aspects of ourself have each of the experiences that enter our mind as we are considering our options. The concept is that there are basically infinite parallel realities occurring simultaneously. It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around that idea, as I imagine it is to you, too, but I find it fascinating to ponder.

When I consider decision-making from this perspective, I somehow feel lighter about it. If all options that have come into thought-form in my mind are going to be experienced - in parallel realities - then there is no real loss, and only an opportunity to choose the one I’d most love to align my conscious self with in this moment. So I let my heart lead, and enlist my mind to keep any real danger in awareness. Sometimes I choose the option I perceive will be most pleasurable, and sometimes I choose for a growth opportunity, or for something I believe will bring balance or harmony to my life. It depends what I perceive to be most desired or most important or meaningful at the time.

Life is a series of adventures strung together, with choices to be made at every turn. The more we get comfortable with consciously choosing our experiences one after another after another - without regrets - the more lighthearted and alive we can feel on our many adventures that make up our experience of life.

I just made a big decision which on the surface appeared at first to be very complicated. I chose to put my Florida house up for sale, and to embark on a new chapter in my adventure. I gave this decision process some space, to give myself time to get beneath the surface complexities presented by my ruminating mind, and feel deeply into the heart-frequencies. My choice then rather quickly became clear - which does not necessarily mean easy! My new choice requires a lot of new action steps, which need to be accomplished in a short span of time to take advantage of the winter selling market when the snowbird visitors are here. Yet within the need for action, I can proceed at a slow and grounded pace, knowing I am at clear choice while releasing attachment to the exact outcome or timeline of unfoldment.

When confronted with choices that feel complex or especially challenging to me, I feel around for the ‘sweet-spot,’ that state of being or vibrational tone where I most feel an experience of coherence. I am often making a choice to shift out of my current ‘comfort zone,’ so it’s not the coherence of knowing just how to navigate the new choice, but rather an energetic coherence between mind and heart and body. In fact, when making choices for what I would most love to experience next, I rarely know the specific details of how I am going to navigate the way. And that’s okay! It’s an important part of the adventurous aliveness of the experience. I have (mostly!) learned to trust the process, and to trust in my general navigational skills.

I once worked with a woman who was adamant about going from her standard American diet to a fruit-based raw vegan diet virtually overnight, for a 30-day experiment. In this case, I told her that I was not in support of the idea. I had gotten to know her, her personality, and her emotional and spiritual development, and I didn’t feel it would be in her best interest because I didn’t feel that she was ready for such a drastic step. Nonetheless, she persisted with her plan. I began to question my initial judgment when she succeeded in accomplishing the whole 30 days raw, while feeling great! But the 31st day was her husband’s birthday, and they went out for dinner. She chose to somehow celebrate with a meal of burger, french fries and beer, and landed herself in the emergency room with a gall bladder attack. Her decisions were overly impulsive, and not in coherence on all levels.

If all aspects of my thought process are expressed (in parallel realities), then nothing is truly lost, and I can harness my energy for whichever thought-idea that I choose to actively pursue - because it is the one that elicits the most heartfelt coherence or alignment, with the Self with which I am consciously aware. By releasing attachment to specific outer outcomes, or to how exactly the journey may unfold, I liberate myself to enjoy my experiences with curiosity, fascination, presence, and alert, grounded mindfulness. Second-guessing our decisions, or harboring regrets, binds up a lot of energy and is a form of self-sabotage. Instead, approach choice from a place of grounded non-attachment, and authentic inquiry into the whisperings of the deep heart, then step forward with a quiet inner confidence and enjoy the ride.