The One Thing That Matters Absolutely

I have decided that the one thing that matters absolutely, is finding the essence of who you are. We live so much in our heads, and the mind-made self becomes a miserable substitute for knowing our true divine essence. The information overload that permeates all parts of society nowadays encourages us to make our home in our brain, instead of in our heart and soul.

Stillness is where we will find peace and equanimity. It can be hard to be still, and even harder to disengage from the ceaseless mental chatter in our mind, and the societal pressures to engage with a certain narrative about success and viability, and to keep pushing. I have spent much of my adult life striving, struggling, hurrying, scrambling, providing, care-giving, organizing, worrying, comparing, visioning, manifesting, teaching, performing, wanting, controlling, designing, creating, building….and DOING, DOING, DOING….until, one day a few years ago, I officially burned out. I simply couldn’t keep up with the illusion anymore: the illusion that physical forms and outcomes define who I am or why I exist.

Deep burn-out can feel scary. There is often very little outer support for slowing way down and living much more simply. It threatens the status quo, and makes people raise their eyebrows, as if to say ‘how dare you escape the rat-race and leave us trapped here!’ I had some clients once who decided to sell everything and move with their young children to a much simpler life in Costa Rica. They threw a good-bye party before signing off on the sale of their house and belongings, and the incredulous neighbors literally said to them, “How come you get to go do this?!”

It’s similar to my experience of bringing an obviously healthy, colorful raw fruit & salad dinner to a social gathering, and feeling people judge me for doing things differently, even as they internally question their own processed meal. But for me, whether I am embarking on a raw vegan diet, unschooling my kids, taking huge risks to pursue a dream-vision, radically downsizing my expenses and living space, leaving conventional employment, or greatly slowing down the pace of my days….all of these alternative life choices have arisen from my own internal guidance.

Tuning into our innermost wisdom is not so easy amidst the constant commotion of today’s fast pace, non-stop information, and demanding social/cultural narratives. Even as I was following the messages from my heart in making my many inspired choices, I was also being pushed from behind by the ingrained dominant narrative of pressure and hustle. But I am grateful for all of my adventurous living experiments, even the ones that exhausted me or went awry. All of it is rich material on the self-development journey that I cherish!

I knew I was dangerously burned out though, when my non-stop enthusiasm completely dried up. I felt an unbearable friction growing in me, and excruciating pain camping out in my muscles. I longed for the world to simply STOP - so that I could slowly look all around, catch my breath and get my bearings. I was swept up in the swirl of the very stimulating hurricane-like intensity of modern-life energies, and I began to desperately imagine ejecting myself into the stillness of the eye….somehow.

Over the course of several years I tried on new experiments in simpler living. I moved into smaller living spaces (even one that was mostly off-grid); I created a barter with a property manager; I slashed expenses; I designed a work schedule for my business where I had every 4th week off; I reduced the number of appointments I would schedule in any one day; I focused my work time into clear slots; I claimed a longer morning and evening self-care routine; I moved to a small coastal town in Florida. All of these strategies helped, a lot!

As I unburdened my daily schedule and commitments, I mostly used the newly freed up time to meditate, walk in nature, journal, read about spirituality and self-development, and have meaningful conversations. As I have continued to shift my time and energy in this way, I find that I deeply enjoy the STILL SPACE in the figurative ‘eye of the hurricane.’ Spending more and more time here in this consciously quieter space, my confidence in my own well-being and my capacity to care for myself on every level has grown and deepened along with my faith in a higher hand.

I am more relaxed, more spontaneous, more generous with myself, swelling with gratitude for the simplest of things in life, and more present with others. It has become easier and easier to release attachments (to outer forms and outcomes, and to all things beyond my control), and I am more trusting and flexible about the unpredictable unfolding of my life.

My increased time communing with nature shows me my true essence, and brings me to the peaceful alertness of the NOW moment.

“Watch an animal, a flower, a tree, and see how it rests in Being. It is itself. It has enormous dignity, innocence, and holiness. However, for you to see that, you need to go beyond the mental habit of naming and labeling. The moment you look beyond mental labels, you feel that ineffable dimension of nature that cannot be understood by thought or perceived through the senses. It is a harmony, a sacredness that permeates not only the whole of nature but is also within you.”

-Eckhart Tolle

Why is finding and knowing the essence of who you truly are the one thing that matters absolutely? You know the phrase, “If you don’t have your health nothing else matters,” or this one: “A healthy person has a thousand dreams; a sick person has only one”? The idea that knowing your true essence is the one thing that matters absolutely, goes much deeper than those other typical phrases. When you know your true essence, even living with illness or disability does not take this core truth from you, and life can still be claimed and honored in a conscious, joyful and inspired way.

Making a clear choice to cleanse the body of excess toxins and inflammation will open up pathways to much healing of the body-temple. This physical unburdening will in turn naturally facilitate deeper realization of the essence of the Self, and genuine communion with what matters absolutely. I’m not absolutely certain that a slower pace is always necessary for this deeper awareness to arise, but personally I found it critical to slow down and open up a new spaciousness. Unscheduled space can feel uncomfortable at first, but with the right attention and willingness, it soon blossoms with new and completely different potential.

“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here.”

– Eve Ensler