Something a mentor once said really stayed with me: “Step into the ever upward spiraling flow of the Universe.” It will carry you, she said; life will feel easier.
So I started paying more attention to where there was resistance, doubt, or lack of trust in my life. I started really tuning in to how I felt in my body when energy (inner and outer) flowed more naturally and joyfully, without resistance. I got braver about making changes - and even taking really big leaps at times - to bring my outer life more into alignment with my inner dreams and visions. I hung on these words:
“When we walk to the edge of all the light we have, and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will be taught to fly.” ~ Frank Outlaw
The past year and a half has brought big new outer and inner changes to my life: I heeded the strong call to return from Florida to my Michigan roots; two new beautiful healthy grandbabies were born here in Michigan; I entered into a wonderful new partnership; and I received a brand new left hip! All of these changes have brought beautiful blessings to my life, and most of these changes also involved significant loss - the loss a home and lifestyle I loved in Florida, the loss of an 8-year partnership, and the loss of my natural hip and body as I knew it (and prior to losing my natural hip, for two years I navigated the gradual loss of my ability to walk reliably).
It’s easy enough to see all the outer changes in our lives, yet often harder to fully realize the significance of the inner shifts that are happening simultaneously. My partner and I consciously make a practice of recognizing and celebrating the inner shifts in each of us as we realize them. This is in fact what we treasure the most in each of ourselves, in each other, and in our union. Sometimes the inner shift happens first and inspires the courage to make a big outer shift in our lives, and sometimes the outer leap comes first and the inner shift plays catch-up. Either way, it is certainly easier to feel at peace when there is sufficient inner and outer alignment in our lives.
I resisted the hip replacement surgery for a long time, even as I was struggling mightily with advancing disability. I understood the consequences of decades of compensating for a knee that was never stable after a major reconstructive surgery following a ski accident, but still I needed to know that I had tried my best to heal my own natural hip first. When I finally accepted the idea of another big surgery, I made myself ready to give my all to embracing the new hip and putting in the daily work to heal well from the surgery, and regain my full mobility. That is the inner shift. I am grateful for the amazing technology that is giving me another chance to physically do the things I love to do.
Despite the pain, discomfort, stiffness and other challenges, every day now is a celebration in healing, and improving upon what I can do with my new hip. My partner’s full support and enthusiastic cheerleading is an amazing boost. I am now into the 4th week post-surgery. I am walking over a mile most days, and we are in awe of each emerging re-ability that emerges. What a victory it was to finally get my sock on by myself, on the foot of the surgery leg! I do feel some grief over the loss of my natural hip, the new 4” scar that my body wears permanently now, and the temporary distortions from some swelling and muscle imbalances - and that’s okay and only natural. I meet these feelings and honor them, but I consciously choose not to dwell there. I am moving forward, grateful for how the new hip will support me in getting back to moving and playing in the ways I love to do!
There was also resistance, and then loss, in accepting the end of an 8-year partnership, and again I did not feel the inner readiness to navigate that life-shift until I knew I had first truly done my best to try and heal what we had co-created. Perhaps some of us stay in situations that are not working longer than others do, because we are waiting for the inner readiness to make a big leap into a new unknown. I found deep benefits in spending two spacious, relatively quiet years on my own reconnecting with myself and my own natural rhythms, before attracting a new kind of partnership into my life. During that sol-time I relocated to a different house in Florida, and then a year later gave up that beautiful tropical house with butterfly gardens to make the move back to Michigan, heeding the call to be near my grown children and new grandbabies. I was listening closely to a series of deep inner shifts.
Consciously keeping myself in the upward spiraling flow has required BIG courage, and the willingness to face reality squarely and actively make frequent recalibrations to keep working WITH and ever-changing reality. Courage holds the distinction of being the frequency that becomes the bridge between the lower emotional states and the higher ones. It takes real courage to release resistance (low frequency) and step into the higher flow, or to choose to dwell daily in gratitude, capacity, agency, positive change and happiness - even in the midst of feeling some aspects of fear, anxiety, frustration, resentment, self-doubt or shame.
I love my life. I choose to claim it as an ever-evolving adventure. I consciously embrace growth and expansion on a daily basis, and I choose as my daily companion and co-adventurer a life-partner who does the same. I love the ways I choose to serve, and to be a positive presence in my children’s and grandchildren’s lives now. I accept challenges, and meet them with determination to learn and grow from them. I don’t expect my life to be easy, but I do choose to make of it a celebration. And the more I grow - the higher I rise on the upward spiral - the closer I pay attention to rooting out all remaining resistance. I have experienced for myself that with each release it’s as if I become lighter, clearer and freer, knowing I am IN the flow that will carry me where I need to go.
Here are some notes about how I am navigating my hip replacement surgery recovery, for interested readers. (I came home the same day as surgery, on the narcotics given at the hospital. I relied on them for the first two nights, then weaned to Tylenol for a couple more days and a few more nights, then completely off all meds.)
Fruit-centric raw vegan diet!
Daily sun-bathing with full body exposure whenever possible
REST in a QUIET home environment
Natural alternatives to the pharmaceutical meds
homeopathics (arnica, calendula, and staphysagria)
turmeric/curcumin/ginger/black pepper supplement in place of the usual prescribed blood-thinners, to lessen the risk of post-surgery blood clots
CBD/THC vegan gummies in the first 2 weeks to help with nighttime pain and sleep challenges
a mixture applied topically several times a day, of liquid DMSO with liquid arnica, MSM, hyaluronic acid, and frankincense to support healing and minimize bruising (I have had virtually NONE visible)
topical liquid DMSO with rose hips applied several times a day to the incision scar now that the scabbing has cleared
icing and elevating often in the first 2-3 weeks, and then after long walks or extra activity, to minimize swelling (I have had minimal localized swelling)
MOVEMENT! As much as I can daily (gently), without aggravating things. I modified my daily stretching/yoga and dance routines (a lot, of course!), and use a step-counter to increase my walking distance daily. The walker and then a cane became creative exercise props!
Thanks for sharing. You more than amaze me.
Awesome, so good to hear! ❤️