When Should You "Go with the flow?"

A sequel to my last post about Preparedness and Letting Go

It sounds cool to be the kind of person who can ‘go with the flow,’ but what does it really mean, and under what circumstances does it ring true?

Which flow, and how do you know?

Have you heard the line, “What you resist, persists”? I have found there to be truth in this saying, in the sense that when I contract myself in the face of a challenge or an emotion, it doesn’t resolve as quickly or as completely as when I release control, and open in an expansive way to fully experience what is happening - in my body, my emotions, or my environment. This would be one example of ‘going with the flow,’ instead of resisting it. Allowing and bringing presence to what IS requires courage, and it may stretch us, yet ultimately it usually brings relief in the sense that we are not using up energy living in resistance to reality.

Sometimes going with the flow in this sense may feel uncomfortable, scary, or even out of control. We don’t know where the flow may take us, or where we may end up. We are entering unfamiliar territory - we have to choose courage over comfort, and surrender instead of control. There is great relief in letting go into the flow of what is actually happening in the present moment, but in order to experience this relief it requires a level of faith, and trust. We need to be able to trust that we are ultimately safe in this flow, and that it will be for our highest evolvement even though it’s unfamiliar, and maybe uncomfortable, scary, or difficult.

Intuition is really so important here, because there are situations where ‘going with the flow’ is actually dangerous, or not for our highest evolvement, and we need to have good discernment. For example, we need to be able to distinguish between a flow that is meant for us and resonates with truth, versus a flow that is meant for someone else and/or is not going to take us higher or bring the relief that comes with living truthfully. The way to prepare for these situations is to have a daily practice of cultivating a strong and positive relationship with our intuition, through journaling and meditation practices, for instance.

If we ignore our ‘gut feeling,’ deny our intuition or that whisper of the heart, and choose comfort in a fearful way, we can easily get swept into the wrong flow. We have all been challenged more than ever recently, as outer circumstances in our world now appear to shift at a new hyper-speed, and often strangely, and people appear to be ‘choosing sides’ in more divisive ways. We are grappling with more information than ever, and more and more conflicting and contradictory information. More people than ever are facing ostracism and even aggression simply for speaking their truth, or holding a less popular belief. It’s no wonder that so many people now find themselves swept up in currents flowing swiftly in directions that don’t feel right.

Whether it’s about political factions or food choices or how to raise children today, it all feels on the line in a big, big way. With so much continuous propaganda and slick marketing tactics from even (and especially!) our highest institutions, now is a most critical time for each of us to dig deeply for our truest values, and for the courage to express them through our words and all of our choices.

I remember walking maskless in a very strange sea of masked faces not so very long ago, and someone suggested that it wouldn’t be that big a deal to ‘just put it on’ for a few minutes to do an errand. In other words, ‘just go with the flow’ and don’t rock the boat. But I intuitively felt - very strongly - that this was a dangerous and irrational kind of flow, which went against every fiber of my being. And even though the physical damage might not be so much to put the mask on for a few minutes to run an errand, I couldn’t do it for two reasons: 1. There was psychological damage; and 2. I believe it’s powerful in a very important way to be an example of a person who can stand in their truth, when it doesn’t coincide neatly with the dominant flow.

Ask yourself: Does this flow that I am being invited into resonate and align with my highest values? Do I feel a twinge of excitement (often felt as fear) that this flow might help me evolve? Do I believe the risks will be in the service of my growth? Do I really want to choose growth? Am I willing to welcome change? If you can truthfully answer yes to these questions, then by all means, summon your courage and step on into ‘the ever upward spiraling flow of the universe!’ (as a mentor of mine calls it).

And if you are able to see or feel an uneasy lack of true alignment, then I suggest you step back and consider whether you are potentially getting sucked into a dangerous riptide that will ultimately leave you stranded from your authentic self.

What, after all, is the kind of relief you long to feel? On a journey of conscious living, relief comes from honoring our truth and authenticity, even when it may cost us dearly. On this kind of journey, we realize that the comfort of fitting it and ‘going with the flow’ which feels easiest only because it’s the flow that most people around us are in, is not going to be truly comfortable at all if it is in dissonance with what our heart knows. When we choose courage over comfort, and dare to go with the flow that beckons us with the promise of growth and truth, we receive the more profound rewards in life.